Sunday 19 January 2014

Kevin Durant - now trading as Ken Bruce Pty Ltd

Ken Bruce dunking around Dwight Howard, who wanted no part of the madman

During the lockout (also known as The Great Basketball Famine of 2011), you likely saw Kevin Durant go outside and hang 66 on unprepared New Yorkers at Rucker Park under the nom de guerre of "The Greatest." An apt title, no doubt, and kudos to the local MC. We've had a think, though, and if Baseline Leaner were hosting a similar tournament - where nicknames were also mandatory - KD would be known by another name: "Ken Bruce."

Before KD smashed the Youtube view counter by giving us our basketball fix in a time of serous need, Ken Bruce and his parrot smashed prices. Ken sold white goods so cheaply he had to be kept in a straight jacket at all times. He was a danger to himself and others. Unless, of course, you needed a new fridge - then Ken's illness was a blessing in disguise.

What Kevin Durant is doing to the NBA is straight jacket worthy. Fortunately, at this stage, he's not a danger to himself, only to other teams. If you're a Warriors fan, or a Rockets fan, or a Jazz fan, or of any team the Thunder have played since Russell Westbrook went down, you probably wish KD was committed already. For the rest of us, he's like Ken Bruce the day after your washer and dryer broke down.

Let the madman do his thing.


Kevin Durant's stats since registering as Ken Bruce Pty Ltd - effective from time of Westbrook injury

9 games - 36.8ppg - 5.7rpg - 5.8apg - .493FG



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